Reflections on life, style, reinvention, epiphanies, gray hair, and perfecting the art of growing up without growing old...
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
See Your Beauty! Love Your Beauty! And Pass It On!
There’s an article going around on FB now called, I Am Beautiful: How To Raise Girls With Self Esteem. (click for link) I think everyone with a daughter (or son) should read it. And I think everyone else should read it too. Why? Because in our beauty and youth obsessed culture, it’s so hard to look at ourselves with LOVE, and so easy to pass that on to the younger generation…
I’m not talking about saying, “I’ve got these wrinkles, or this gigantic nose, or this big, fat butt, but I’m going to ACCEPT it because I know there’s little or nothing I can do about it.” I’m talking about loving yourself SO much…just the way you are RIGHT NOW…that you wouldn’t change anything if you could! Like, if someone asked you the question, “If you could change only one thing about your appearance, what would it be?” You could honestly and emphatically answer, “Not a damned thing!”
Some people say, “embrace your flaws.” I say, we DON’T HAVE flaws. Embrace YOURSELF! Embrace your UNIQUE-NESS! LOVE that which is you, and only YOU!
I’m not a big fan of “beauty contests.” I know…they give money, scholarships, and such to the winners, and I know…they SAY “it’s not just about physical beauty. bla, bla…” But really, have you ever seen a girl who weighs 150 lbs. win Miss America? Have you ever seen a girl with a nose like Barbara Streisand win Miss Universe? Have you ever seen a 50 year old woman become Miss America, or Miss Universe? No. There are contests specifically for “plus” size women, and contests for women over 40...but you will NEVER see them compete with the Barbie doll beauties in Miss America or Miss Universe…who, by the way, are beautiful.
My question is, why are we divided up into categories in the first place? I mean, why can’t I be Miss America? I’m not married. Why can’t you? Does the idea of competing with those girls in a beauty contest seem laughable to you? It does to me because I know that, even though I’m happy with the way I look, there is no way in hell I will ever be Miss America, if I’m to be judged by the prevalent standards of beauty that dominate our society. I couldn’t even compete when I was twenty. And don’t think for a minute that young, impressionable girls don’t watch these things, and compare themselves to the contestants.
There are teenage girls and young women out there who cannot conceive of ever winning a beauty contest; who feel their physical appearance will never measure up, and who, as a result feel “less than.” Beauty contests aside, I think it’s sad, that every girl (actually, everyone) can’t look in the mirror and see herself just the way she is RIGHT NOW, and think, “I AM BEAUTIFUL!” And really mean it…
We must stop the madness! And we have to begin with ourselves. We can’t preach self-love if we don’t practice self-love. So don‘t say, “I love myself, but I just need to lose twenty pounds…or I’m great, but I need a nip here and a tuck there, or I hate my nose, or my hair, or my belly…but I must accept my flaws.” I’m not talking ACCEPTANCE…I’m talking pure, unadulterated, enthusiastic LOVE! See your beauty! Love your beauty! And PASS IT ON!
C
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Very well said indeed! I am so in agreement with you about self-FLAWS...what FLAWS? I keep a sign on my desk that says, "If I loved myself, what would I do right now?"
ReplyDeleteNot sure would made that comment, but it expresses my thoughts absolutely. Ruthe
I like that! I think when we really love ourselves unconditionally, we are more confident, and make bolder choices. C
ReplyDeleteLove this article. I am fortunate that at 55 I do love myself; wrinkles, belly fat (I now practice belly dancing and the instructors really encourage you to embrace the belly fat)and all else that comes with aging. I look forward to my sixties...
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted to take a belly dancing class! Maybe that will be one of my adventures this year...
DeleteC