See Your Beauty! Love Your Beauty! And Pass It On!

There’s an article going around on FB now called, I Am Beautiful: How To Raise Girls With Self Esteem. (click for link)  I think everyone with a daughter (or son) should read it. And I think everyone else should read it too. Why? Because in our beauty and youth obsessed culture, it’s so hard to look at ourselves with LOVE, and so easy to pass that on to the younger generation…

I’m not talking about saying, “I’ve got these wrinkles, or this gigantic nose, or this big, fat butt, but I’m going to ACCEPT it because I know there’s little or nothing I can do about it.” I’m talking about loving yourself SO much…just the way you are RIGHT NOW…that you wouldn’t change anything if you could! Like, if someone asked you the question, “If you could change only one thing about your appearance, what would it be?” You could honestly and emphatically answer, “Not a damned thing!”

Some people say, “embrace your flaws.” I say, we DON’T HAVE flaws. Embrace YOURSELF! Embrace your UNIQUE-NESS! LOVE that which is you, and only YOU!

I’m not a big fan of “beauty contests.” I know…they give money, scholarships, and such to the winners, and I know…they SAY “it’s not just about physical beauty. bla, bla…” But really, have you ever seen a girl who weighs 150 lbs. win Miss America? Have you ever seen a girl with a nose like Barbara Streisand win Miss Universe? Have you ever seen a 50 year old woman become Miss America, or Miss Universe? No. There are contests specifically for “plus” size women, and contests for women over 40...but you will NEVER see them compete with the Barbie doll beauties in Miss America or Miss Universe…who, by the way, are beautiful.

My question is, why are we divided up into categories in the first place? I mean, why can’t I be Miss America? I’m not married. Why can’t you? Does the idea of competing with those girls in a beauty contest seem laughable to you? It does to me because I know that, even though I’m happy with the way I look, there is no way in hell I will ever be Miss America, if I’m to be judged by the prevalent standards of beauty that dominate our society. I couldn’t even compete when I was twenty. And don’t think for a minute that young, impressionable girls don’t watch these things, and compare themselves to the contestants.

There are teenage girls and young women out there who cannot conceive of ever winning a beauty contest; who feel their physical appearance will never measure up, and who, as a result feel “less than.” Beauty contests aside,  I think it’s sad, that every girl (actually, everyone) can’t look in the mirror and see herself just the way she is RIGHT NOW, and think, “I AM BEAUTIFUL!” And really mean it…

We must stop the madness! And we have to begin with ourselves. We can’t preach self-love if we don’t practice self-love. So don‘t say, “I love myself, but I just need to lose twenty pounds…or I’m great, but I need a nip here and a tuck there, or I hate my nose, or my hair, or my belly…but I must accept my flaws.” I’m not talking ACCEPTANCE…I’m talking pure, unadulterated, enthusiastic LOVE! See your beauty! Love your beauty! And PASS IT ON!

C

Cargo Eye Shadow ~ Fiji ~ The perfect transitional color!

A few weeks ago, I decided to go to Ulta (click for link), to talk to a consultant who knows more about makeup than I do, which is next to nothing. I don't wear a lot of makeup, but I feel that I need a bit, just to give my face a more polished look. Actually, I wear much less makeup now than I did forty years ago, when I didn't really need it at all.

The thing about makeup is, if you take good care of your skin, and you do all the things you're supposed to do to stay healthy...exercise, drink lots of water, eat right, get plenty of rest, etc...you don't need to wear a lot to look good. However I enjoy makeup, not necessarily to cover anything or to hide anything. I just think it's creative and fun...especially eye-makeup. After all, I was an art major.:)

I've always worn brown eye shadow. My hair is light to medium brown with golden highlights, and my eyes  are green, so brown was just the best color for my face. But now that my hair has a significant amount of gray, mostly around my face, the brown eye shadow doesn't seen right anymore. But I tried gray eye shadows, and they don't look good with my eyes and the brown part of my hair.

Hence, the consultation with an expert. She suggested Cargo's Fiji, a taupe powdered shadow than leans toward plum. Eureka! Looks good with the gray hair...looks good with the brown hair...looks good with the green eyes. The color is perfect for me, and the texture is soft and easy to apply. Problem solved!

C

Tales Of A Female Nomad...Rita Golden Gelman

I'm re-reading a book that I read a few years ago, called Tales Of A Female Nomad, by Rita Golden Gelman.  It's an inspiring and fascinating story, worth reading more than once, about a middle-aged woman who leaves an elegant life in L.A. to follow her dream of connecting with people in different cultures. She sells all of her possessions and becomes a nomad, living in exotic places all over the world. So often, we have those wild and crazy ideas about following our hearts and living our dreams, but this woman actually did it. And she's still doing it. Check out her website and blog: www.ritagoldengelman.com/home

C

Casual Does NOT Have To = Sloppy!

Deciding what to wear on casual days doesn't have to be a mystery. Being pulled-together doesn't mean being uncomfortable, and casual doesn''t have to be sloppy. I'm NOT talking about laying-around-watching TV-casual, or cleaning-the-house-casual. I'm talking about leaving-the-house-casual...running errands...going to the grocery store...meeting girlfriends for lunch and a matinee. Looking good doesn't have to be a chore...it just requires a little planning. Here are some looks for everyday that are casual and comfortable, but still very appealing, coordinated, and stylish.

These first four outfits are all from Eileen Fisher  (click for link)

This basic, but not boring outfit of jeans, white shirt, and jacket is from Chicos (click for link)

These last two great, casual looks are from JJill (click for link)

Casual does NOT have to = Sloppy!

C

John Masters Organics

I've found a great line of hair products that I really enjoy using, so I thought I would share it with you. It's not made specifically for silver/gray hair, but I like the way it makes my hair feel.  It's John Masters Organics. (click for link)

Available at Whole Foods and some health food stores, I get mine at The Vitamin Shoppe. It's also available online. (see link above)

This fairly extensive hair-care line addresses all different textures and conditions...dry, normal, oily, damaged, etc. My favorites right now are the Lavender Rosemary Shampoo for Normal Hair, the Rosemary & Peppermint Detangler, and the Shine-On/ Leave-In Treatment for supernatural shine and softness.

Skincare, body care, products specifically for men, and even pet care products are also available.

C

Some days, you just have to be blue...

Yesterday was my day off, and I woke up sad. It was cold and rainy, I had too much to do that I didn’t feel like doing, and I was missing my mom…

I know what you’re thinking…that I’m going to tell you a fabulous story about how the day was quirky and interesting, that I went out and had an amazing adventure, and that by the time I got home last night, I’d had a warm and fuzzy epiphany and found the silver lining.

However yesterday, that was not the case. I had a doctors appointment that took much longer than I’d planned. Afterwards, I went to the Barnes and Noble ten miles away…the only one left in Dallas it seems, as they recently closed the two that were close to my house…and they didn’t have the book I was looking for.  Then I went to the mall to pick up a few things at Sephora.

I wandered aimlessly through the mall, searching for something that might inspire me…that could make me smile…that would take away the empty feeling. But as we all know, there’s really nothing “out there” that can fill a void. Anything from the outside world is just a distraction…a band-aid.

So I left the mall empty-handed and drove back to Irving, in the relentless rain, on the impossibly gray day. I stopped at a busy intersection, and while I waited for the light to turn green, I noticed a cardboard box on the sidewalk that held some flowers, a cross, a photo of a child…and a little stuffed teddy bear.  Everything was soaked with rain, and one of the vases had turned over. The lump in my throat began to throb, and my chest felt heavy. I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. I just wanted my mother to be there…to put her hand on my head and tell me that everything was going to be ok…

Why am I telling you this? Because we think there’s always a solution…that if we’re feeling sad and down, we should be able to quickly sweep it under the carpet…that we should be able to instantly overcome whatever it is that’s making us sad by simply finding something to take our minds off of it…or that we should shake it off and be grateful for what we have. And then, we feel guilty because we can't snap out of it. But some days, you just have to be blue…

C

Bust Out Of The Comfort Zone...

I read somewhere that we tend to be more cautious, and as a result, less adventurous as we grow up. Like when I was ten years old, I would ride every crazy, spinning contraption at the Mid-South Fair, over and over, the rougher the  ride, the better.

But now, I look at those same rides and think, “you know, that doesn’t really look like it’s put together that well…it’s not very stable…and aren’t some of the screws missing off of that rusty support beam...?”

Or I’ll worry that the giant turkey leg, cotton candy, and funnel cake that I should not have eaten might not stay put after being tossed around relentlessly for three solid minutes.

The truth is, we develop discretionary behavior for a reason...that reason being that we want to live longer.  But occasionally we become a bit too cautious, and life gets dull and predictable. We lose our sense of adventure and our zest for new experiences, and boredom sets in.

So this month, I want to do something adventurous. Not stupid or life-threatening…just interesting and out of the ordinary. Like what? Well, I could go back and ride that rickety roller coaster. (Those screws probably weren’t really holding anything together anyway) Or I could go horseback riding…or ride a bike, or a motor scooter.

I could take a day trip to one of the historic small towns nearby that I’ve never been to, but have always meant to go. I could stroll around, check out all of the cute shops I‘ve never seen, have lunch on the square, and then sit on a bench afterwards and enjoy a flavor of ice cream that I’ve never had before.

Or, I could go to a casino with fifty bucks and try to parlay it into a small fortune. I don’t really know how to play roulette or poker,  but I can play the slots.  I won’t take more than fifty dollars, though…the odds are not in my favor. And, I’ll try to hang onto enough money for dinner, because most casinos have awesome buffets. I’ll call you if I win…

I think I’d rather go to a museum. But I’ll go to one that I wouldn’t ordinarily go to. For instance, I usually gravitate to art museums, but maybe this time I’ll go to the new Ross Perot Museum of Nature and Science.

Don’t you ever just want to do something out-of-the-box? Like take an art class if you think you have no artistic ability, or a writing class if you feel your communication skills aren’t the greatest? (I’ve signed up for a Cheese 101 class. I like cheese, but I want to know more) Learning a new language might be fun. (Going to a new country after you've learned the language would be even MORE fun) If you’re not already a stripper, you could take a pole dancing class. Or, if you’re feeling really fearless, you could jump out of an airplane…after you’ve completed the proper training, of course.

I think we all should do something occasionally (or regularly) that we’ve never done before! Something fun…something adventurous. The point is to expand the boundaries of our comfort zone without putting ourselves in danger. Good luck, and May The Force Be With You!

C